I set myself a resolution to have a major change in my life every year, and 2016 didn’t disappoint.

Change doesn’t happen without some pain, akin to a pupa breaking out of its chrysalis and struggling to squeeze out of its old shell.

It was a pretty painful year, characterised by quite a bit of tears over family, work, and the loss of self.

But that being said, 2016 isn’t the year I cried the most, so I think the changes were largely phases I had to go through to know what I fail at, and where I think I would like to grow.

Definitely not my waistline though, stress makes me put on the pounds and it’s time to lose weight.

To do that, I’ll have to say no to a lot of things that take up too much time, and ask for favours to have the alone time to take care of myself.

I haven’t had a facial in more than 2 years, a haircut in more than a year and a proper exercise routine since the second half of 2016.

I wonder how little of me other people think. Why is she so fat? So incapable of getting her shit straight? Falling sick easily, always tired?

That happens when I live for others at the expense of myself, so others need to do less and have a better life.

But there are people who also did more than their share so I could survive juggling work, kids, marriage and sanity.

2016 was a year of struggles, especially when you realise that faith has become a third-party stranger that doesn’t make you hot or even lukewarm anymore.

I wonder what surprises 2017 will bring, but I hope there will be pretty flowers growing from that shit.

So long 2016, it’s been a terrible year, but I’m not defeated by the crap you threw at me. Always learn what I can from the challenges to survive another year.

And if I need less negative news, just watch stupid cat videos or silly babies on YouTube, which is probably why kids are happier than adults because they watch the stuff they really like to consume.

So 2017, be nice, but if not, there’re 365 days I’m counting down to 2018.

Featured image: Aavid Kuntz